Sex edUcation

Not to dwell on the subject but my sister is so insanely relevant to this class it is almost unreal.

Again I was talking to her not long after the class presentation on sex ed and I was still a little fired up about the whole thing and ideas of how to change and better the system were still flooding my brain. Then, Callie calls and tells me that she is so upset because now her school is implementing sex ed courses for all the students I think once a week - all because of her. I was so excited and started asking her questions about how long the class was, who was teaching it, what was being taught, all the things we discussed in class. Then I took a second and realized she wasn't calling to tell me how great it was but to tell me how frustrated she was with the situation. The class had been started because of her and her "situation".

Should this be something she should be offended by? Personally, I think she should be proud that she is setting a precedent in a place that can hopefully only benefit from a sexual education. I have a slight feeling that they will be taught an abstinence only program due to the conservative nature of the head of the school and the fact that they go to church every morning before school. I can only hope from what I have learned that this will be an honest and educational experience for these kids. I am sitting here debating whether some information is better than no information.

As long as it has the ability to teach the students ways to practice safe sex and the complications involved then I think there is a possibility of positive knowledge.

However, there needs to be a program in which there can be positive open discussion, honest and helpful advice, where students can talk about real issues and questions rather than what the educator is talking at them. I don't think it needs to be broken up into the strict and overlapping columns of abstinence only and comprehensive because those words make people cringe before they even know the truth behind them. Thus, creating a new kind of sex ed with a new name and some of the same ideas could be the beginning of a new and improved version of educating students about their almost inevitable sexual lives

Mamaternity

Talking to my sister again today I found out that I am going to have a newborn baby for a month and a half... Her baby is due April 19th and school gets out the first week of June- almost perfect timing yes, however, she gets no maternity leave.

What?

Because her school has less than 50 full time employees they do not have to follow whatever kinds of rules that are in place for mothers and maternity leave. So, whatever time she takes off to recuperate and take care of her NEWBORN BABY will be unpaid. Also, the school does not offer healthcare for the baby either. While she is being unpaid to have a baby she has to take the money she isn't getting to pay for her child's health insurance. It's a small school with limited funding blah, blah, blah I get that but, to she told me that one of her coworkers was in the hospital with pneumonia for over a week and not only was she paid in full that week she was gone anytime she came to school looking a little bit under the weather she was told to go home (she was paid for those days as well).

But, what is even worse and highlights the gender issue or Callie's bosses issues with her pregnancy even more is that one of the male teachers who was married was given over a week of paternity leave when his child was born a few years ago. While a week is not as much as some get, and the fact that paternity leave is even an option is wonderful. However, the fact that this man who did not give birth to a baby was given a whole week off to help his wife who also got maternity leave from her job and Callie's time is all unpaid seems to be a little unfair? outrageous? I'm not sure of the adjective I need to describe how I feel about this situation but AH!

I offered to come and put her in a sleeping bag and push her down the steps(after baby x is born) like she used to do to me, or break her are where she would have to be hospitalized so her time off could at least be paid but she declined that offer. The fact that it has come to coming up with schemes like this so she can be treated somewhat justly is so unnerving.

She is now at a point that she feels like she is walking on thin ice because of her pregnancy that she can't speak up for fear of losing her job or the rest of the respect from those in charge.

Jhallys Dreamworlds

Jhally in his film Dreamworlds II: Desire/Sex/Power in Rock Video, deals with a plethora of issues relating to the depiction of both men and women in rock video, as well as the consequences, and the idea of the dreamworld. Exploring the male adolescent “dreamworld” can be an utterly frightening place; however, this place is unfortunately the one that is plastered over every television screen throughout the nation and even the world. This dreamworld is often times made up of women as the role of a cheerleader, stewardess, maid, librarian, police woman, nurse, or just a stripper – to name a few. The women are there to be looked at when the men stand close by and do essentially whatever they want to the women portrayed in this “dreamworld". Not only does this become extremely disturbing when watched out of context, the fact that it takes it being out of context to make it as disturbing is the most unsettling.

our attitudes are shaped by what we see and the way we treat each other. In other words, when we see things that happen in music videos like scantily clad women being tied up and verbally or physically abused, we are less likely to feel shock because in videos those are most of the images portrayed. These women are being objectified – when they are treated like highly sexualized objects, there is no thought, or care into the actual person or personality they are just an object to be looked at. Often times objectified women simply become fragments, they are reduced to a body part, just boobs or a butt or a nice body

So what, all videos do it, why does this matter? Jahlly argues that in some cases there is nothing wrong with appealing to fantasy nor is there anything wrong with desiring attractive men or women. However, the problem arises when this is the only way women are presented- nothing else. Their only human qualities are the ones that please men and strictly make women sexual beings. Women are presented in this light because it is the high powered men in the business that are hiring porn directors to direct music videos thus appealing to the same senses that are heightened when watching pornography. The one way that women presented is the only pornographic way and that is the only way. Even when female artists create a video they can only use the language of sex that culture allows, thus they are almost forced to take on fantasy roles and for the camera and in turn, the male gaze. While one may argue that there is no one forcing them to perform these actions that is true, however due to the fact that we have become desensitized to the objectification of women it is the only way we have seen them be portrayed. If they want to be successful, female artists have repeatedly fallen into the same trap as those before them. To combat this image, we must first combat the idea of desensitization and take a real look at what is being portrayed in the images that flood the television screens and provide role models for young adolescents.

baby mama drama

So, I'm sure I have mentioned my sister. She is 25 and working in a charter school in Pittsburgh for low income families that do not want to send their kids to Pittsburgh's public schools. She is unmarried and single now and just moved back into our house with my mom and stepdad, this might all seem like a lot of random information however, she called me today to tell me about her day at work. When she told her boss Tom (a large -in every way- and very intimidating and mildly offensive African American man) at school that she was pregnant he was outwardly upset but seemed to get over it rather quickly. He then proceeded to hug her and rub her stomach (which at this point was only 3 months pregnant).

After that weekend Callie had another meeting with Judy the schools other head who provides most of the funding and fundraisers for the school (Judy is 60+, white, catholic, and has an exorbitant amount of money and apparently strong beliefs). In this meeting with both Tom and Judy, all the positive feelings she had were yanked away from her and she was told that she was not allowed to tell any other faculty or student in the building until they "figured out how to deal with her situation". Callie politely explained to them that she has wanted to have kids since she was 4 years-old and while she may not be in the best position she had a family giving her full support and is very confident in her ability to raise a child on her own. None of that seemed to matter. There was talk about bringing in multiple outside therapists to work with the children once they heard the news - to help them deal with the fact that their unmarried teacher was having a baby.

The thing about The Neighborhood Academy is that most of these kids are from broken families where their parents are in jail, they live in single family homes, have possibly a more confusing family structure than I do. They aren't going to care if she is having a child out of wedlock.

I somehow managed to be at school the day that one of the students and in turn the rest of the faculty found out the news. One 10th grade girl approached her in the hall- eyes beaming and just smiled and immediately Callie and I both knew that she knew. She whispered into Callie's ear, loud enough for the other students around to hear, and asked her if she was pregnant. Saying yes this apparently usually cold girl smiled and hugged her. Then my favorite response came "damnn Miss. Callie you gunnaa get fat" I'm pretty sure that was the best thing that could have happened. The next 2 hours was full of Callie telling the faculty and her favorite class about the baby. Most people didn't believe her at first and some of the students said "eww that means TJ (tom) is going to rub your belly".

The feedback from everyone continues to be positive. The kids who were going to need therapy and outside help to deal with the reality of her outrageous pregnancy, have in reality turned into caretakers giving her suggestions for eating healthy and making themselves feel apart of the babies life. They are able to connect to her on a more personal level because many of them have the ability to relate to her. One student came in the other day saying "miss. callie my mom said I have to be nice to you because you are going to have a bastard child just like her"

ANYWAY, this is a lot of information but it has made me look at a lot of different kinds of things. One of them being the hardships Callie is going through just because she is a single pregnant woman. She is literally jumping through hoops to appease her bosses so she can have a decent work environment. Another being the inappropriate advances her male boss is making on her. On top of rubbing her prego belly he has done a number of other things that if the gender roles had been reversed would be a totally different kind of situation. However, because he is a man in power over her she can't do much else other than tell him to stop. And to assume the kids at the school won't understand what it means to be pregnant without a husband makes it seem like everyone should see the world through the middle class "american dream" stereotype. But it isn't even close to the reality that many of the kids are living in. They should be emphasizing the fact the Callie is a successful and responsible adult who has made decisions that will only enhance the life of her baby.

Tough Guise

I know we watched this movie forever ago but I still can't stop thinking about it and finding examples of it in our everyday lives.

The notion that violence is not just an act committed against another person or thing but that it is actually a gendered issue still makes me do a double take when I experience media.

The Jhally video presented some points

men make up 90% of violence

The news reports kids killing kids when in reality it is often boys doing the killing

it is all in the language that is in the media. "3 girls gang banged" as if it was the girls fault.

The idea that masculinity is not natural it's all cultural

media shows that murder is gutsy and daring- when often times it is done out of fear

Manhood= power and control

The notion of being a gangster comes from Italian mob and is emulated by urban black but it does not reflect "black culture" in turn white middle class adolescents emulate this inner city culture making it their own kind of twisted and new kind of culture. For people like my dad who can listen jazz and old rock and roll -songs of slavery and racial troubles- things he himself cannot relate to, but then when there are adolescents listening to biggie smalls or kid cudi there becomes this stigma of "kids these days trying to act black". Where is the line drawn? Why do the boxes of race and gender have to be so stiff in our eyes when in reality they are overlapping and creating each other.

The message throughout the is that violence has become normalized, masculinity is a cultural norm

violence has become sexualized and inturn we have become desensitized

Invisible Children

In Carolyn Nordstrom's article titled Visible Wars and Invisible Girls, Shadow Industries, and the Politics of Not Knowing she looks at the invisibility of children especially girls in wartime aside from the images that are used as political propaganda to demonize the enemy and there are usually only one child depicted and the other girls aren't even mentioned. Nordstrom illustrates her point by providing three stories of girls.

The first was an image of a girl lying on the ground clothed (uncommon for her society and time due to the wartime nature) and looking vacantly at the sky. She had been raped and tortured at the age of 10 during the time of solider occupation and had not talked to anyone about her story.

The Second story was about a girl the same age who was raped by her family. Nordstrom thinks and compares the too- both seem to have the same outcomes- vacant disengaged prepubescent girls. Nordstrom hypothesizes that because in all cultures people believe that violating children is bad that there does not have to be anymore depth in the story. Hearing of a raped girl makes people feel uncomfortable and upset enough they don't need to her any details.

The third story was about a girl who was dumped as an orphan in the hands of men who filmed her having sex with a dog. In turn the dog mauled her and when taken to the hospital she was not able to be saved. In events to follow neither, the government nor the news media did anything to report this story. Other than having the men escorted out of the town no real measures were taken.

To reinforce her point Nordstrom provides bulleted facts about the atrocities of children in wartime.

The reality is is that those girls were not alone in their pain but, they are also not alone in the fact that their problems have been hidden by the media. Their suffering has gone unpublished in the news. There may be every once in awhile a story of children getting raped or tortured during wartime. However, it is usually the assumption that it is from the opposing side not from family members or those producing child pornography. Their stories are invisible so how can there be a change and a conscious effort to take this invisibility away where there is not information about the happenings.

Boys don't cry and Girl's don't fight: Halloween Weekend

Halloween is generally full of oversexed and outrageously stereotyped gendered costumes, this one was no exception.

However, I witnessed some pretty crazy things on saturday night most of which will go unmentioned but one thing in particular struck me. There was a freshman boy (lets call him Seth)who's older brother went here and a girl (lets call her Lily) who was telling him how she always wanted to call him by his brother's name so she was afraid to call him anything at all. After Lily made that comment Seth looked like he was about to cry and then went on to explain how he was sick of being compared to his brother, etc, etc upon hearing this Lily, who happens to be one of my close friends gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told him about how she has an older sister that she feels like she is also always compared to. They talked Seth calmed down and everything was fine until Lily turned around to see two girls dressed as "school girls" staring her down. The smaller of the two approached my friend and said something along the lines of "you just kissed him I can't believe you did that" yelling and accusing Lily (who has a boyfriend) of "flirting" with Seth who the girl had been "sleeping with the past 5 nights". Lily apologized and moved on with her night until she realized that the girls were staring and talking about her so she approached them to talk and the girl responded with "Girl's don't fight, so we aren't going to fight, but you're a bitch"

As an outsider this was a wow moment. I was curious to see how this whole thing was going to go down but then the girls dont fight comment was made and left lily in awe she is the kind of girl that would be ready to fight if she thought people were talking about her with no reason.

So, to be shut down and then called a bitch for attempting to cheer someone up she was needless to say, mildly furious.

This one little 5 minute interaction involved so many different ideas and stereotypes it was honestly, very surreal.